Having worked in sales for the past decade, it’s second nature for me to sell. And if there’s one deal I’m determined to close, it’s convincing you to revisit—or experience for the first time—the greatest episode in the history of Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. But first, a quick rundown for the newcomers on how the carnage typically unfolds:
- Gordon introduces himself and asserts his dominance while the staff awkwardly suppresses their attraction to him. Pure carnage.
- Gordon sits down for a meal and is extremely disappointed by the food. It’s almost a guarantee he’ll begrudgingly use the term ‘bland.” A term my wife and I often and randomly yell out for no discernible reason. Gordon then shares his criticism with management, which is often met with stubborn disagreement, before transitioning to dinner service.
- Dinner service is an utter train wreck of disorganization, long wait times and diners contemplating their life choices. While the ship is sinking, Gordon conveniently starts rummaging through the kitchen and usually ends up in a walk-in fridge that hasn’t been cleaned in years. He sorts through rotting produce and mystery meats and yells things like ‘Just touch that!’ Spoiler alert: no one ever does. Story of my life, amirite?
- The restaurant is remodeled, and Gordon, like the goddamn hero he is, saves the day. Sometimes he even takes his shirt off to celebrate. Wait—sorry, that doesn’t happen. Ignore my fantasies.
However, there is one restaurant, just like there’s one ring, that will always rule them all.
Amy’s Baking Company is the Mona Lisa of Kitchen Nightmares episodes. In nine seasons, it’s the only time Gordon ever walked away. Nothing else comes close to its infamy, virality, or pure, delicious insanity.
The madness kicks off before Gordon even arrives, with husband-and-wife owners Amy and Sammy verbally—and almost physically—assaulting their customers. It begins when a customer decides to leave after waiting too long for his food. Sammy insists he pay first—which is incredible, considering he didn’t even eat. This leads to a near fistfight, with Amy and Sammy chasing him out of the restaurant. Amy hilariously calls him a pansy and a weenie, which eerily reminded me of my high school experience, while the entire dining room watches in silence.
The next day, Gordon arrives purposely unaware of what transpired and things initially seem great. Amy is actually a great baker and the restaurant is clean! However, it isn’t long before Amy starts ranting about online bullies, and Gordon can tell pretty quickly that something is off—like maybe-this-woman-needs-a-straight-jacket kind of off. No disrespect to straight jacket’s, they’ve served me well, but I’m more of a lexapro guy these days.
Plot twist: Gordon dislikes all of Amy’s food. The pizza dough is raw, the burger is messy, and the ravioli isn’t homemade as promised. That’s when we learn it’s standard practice in the restaurant not to inform Amy of customer complaints. Even Sammy knows better than to share criticism with her. Delicious.
Up next, Sammy refuses to let servers keep their tips. Gordon exposes this to customers putting Sammy on the spot, and he famously yells at Gordon, “Don’t speak with me like a villain. I am the gangster, not you.” You guessed it—my wife and I randomly yell this for no reason, too. Moments later, Amy fires an employee for asking a simple question. Seriously. That’s exactly what happened.
Unlike Sammy, Gordon isn’t afraid to tell Amy the truth. While most business owners Gordon confronts are stubborn, Amy’s on a whole other level. It’s not just hard-headed—it’s straight up delulu.
And that my friends, is just a taste of the madness. Amy’s Baking Company ultimately became a brief tourist attraction, sparked a social media firestorm (fueled by Amy’s unhinged online replies after the show aired), was featured on a second episode showing bonus footage—and the couple even ended up on Dr. Phil.
If you’re in the mood for some truly wild reality TV and somehow haven’t heard of Amy’s Baking Company yet, I hope I’ve convinced you to strap on your helmet, pop a couple extra milligrams of that ol’ Lexapro, and get ready for a wild, wild ride.
Seth Borkowski is a NYC-based writer, podcaster, and paranormal enthusiast. He’s the host of The Spiritual Skeptic, a comedy podcast exploring aliens, spirituality, and other weird shit too.
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