THE PITY FEE
“Are you going to be a warrior or a wimp this time?” Jackie asks. Her husband sniffs dramatically. He’s got […]
Femoral Flaw
The fight started when Spider, a known gangster, decided to show his best gal Regan a good time by taking […]
Chatty Restaurateur from the Upper Paleolithic Period Welcomes Her First Modern Day Customers
Welcome to CAVE CHICK PALEO, co-owned with ANTHROPOLOGIST! So happy! Full house tonight! I hope you like my squirrel hat! […]
Cindy Walsh After Dark
Cindy’s sign is Cancer. She’s Midwestern to her core. When Cindy needs release, she hits the gym for Step Aerobics […]
Raiders of the Lost Ark, a 40th anniversary reassessment by Dr. Rene Belloq, Archeologist
Bonjour. Like the bon mot about Mrs. Lincoln and the play, I am still asked, 40 years hence: aside from the ending, […]
Some Guy Named Stephen King Begged To Join Our Writers’ Workshop. What Do You Think We Told Him?
My basement writers’ workshop is clearly the hottest ticket in Maine. But when our tech writer for outboard motor repair […]
How to Make Money in 3 Easy Steps
He returns to the dorm room in the midst of disaster. He turns the knob and walks in on two […]
PLANES, BRAINS, AND AUTOMOBILES
People drive too fast these days. Have you noticed? I have. What’s the hurry? That’s what I’d like to know. […]
WHY ARE THERE 10,000 LAYERS IN THIS FILE?
Why are there 10,000 layers in this file? I’m asking because I just opened it up and there are 10,000 layers […]
Out or Up
I was passing by the league of women voters park, and thought of you. We rode bikes there every summer, […]
My Name Is Inigo Montoya, You Spilled My Coffee, Prepare To Die
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you, but you spilled my morning coffee. I would rather die […]
The Escape
Jack opened an IPA that had chilled in the ice melt. He planned to drink two more before crawling into […]
Universal Laws of Elevator Dynamics
One: On the rare day when you’re early to work, you will find the elevator sitting pretty on the ground […]
The Queen of Dumped
I am the Queen of Dumped. You think you’ve been dumped a lot? Well, I have been dumped-er. […]
A Meat Sauce to Kill for
Ingredients 1 victim Oil – for the floor Extra virgin olive oil – for the sauce Bay leaves, cloves and […]
Go Ask Alice
Alice is standing in line at the post office when she realizes the man in front of her is a […]