getting called the exact same shit but in person

that thing where your iud makes you feel like one leg is melting

trying to scream-convince your mom red would work on you in the middle of Sally Beauty

that thing where your friend asks you to stay over but it’s not really a matter of liking you that much it’s more of a “my mom won’t yell at me while you’re here” kind of situation 

loading from your last savepoint in Harvest Moon and realizing you can’t save your cow’s life and you just have to watch it happen over and over and over and

getting dumped on molly

gynos who sound like your middle school bully

having a pisces stellium

gynos who ask oh my god are you crying

UV Blue

line cooks

googling the family cat’s appetite stimulant to see if it’s safe for human consumption

“calculated” risks

the 1200 calorie protein shake/behemoth/smoothie your boyfriend makes for you the first month of anorexia recovery so you don’t poison yourself with cat appetite stimulant

Noir by Lana Del Rey

rebranding the medical assistant fanning your tears so she doesn’t fuck up your eyeliner into “type 2 fun”

rebranding the reason(s) you’re crying in the first place into “type 3 fun”

walking to the bagel shop in shorts

getting dumped on acid

the Thrift Town scene in Lady Bird

Wellbutrin, Effexor, Prozac, Tri-Sprintec,

the NuvaRing you almost threw out of a moving car

over the bridge because it made you so sad

they are not supposed to make you that sad

your friend’s mom cutting her losses 

your mom cutting her losses

your hair is so fucking red

so are your hands

she decides it’s easier this way

to just yell at both of you

---

Romy Rhoads Ewing writes from Sacramento, California. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in HAD, Oyez Review, Rejection Letters, Bullshit Lit, Major 7th Magazine, and more. She is the author of please stay (Bottlecap Press, 2024) and edits poetry and nonfiction for JAKE. She also runs the archival site SACRAMENTO DIRTBAG ARCHIVES and can be found at romyrhoadsewing.xyz.