Corey Pajka and D.L. Siegel

Increasingly Concerning Updates About Krypto From Superman’s Dog Sitter

Saturday, 2:15 pm: Hi, Superman! Thanks again for trusting me to watch Krypto. #SuperSitter I know you said he can be a handful, but I’m sure he’s going to be the #BestOfBoys this week. I’ll post pics and updates in the app, but you can also check my socials. Everyone on Earth is counting on you and the Justice League to thwart this invasion from Apokolips, so good luck, and give Darkseid one for all of us! #DarkseidIsAWarCriminal  

Sunday, 7:48 pm: Krypto is settling in, but he’s got a champion bark! I had to post on my building’s WhatsApp to explain that those vibrations we all felt weren’t a series of freak earthquakes. My neighbors were surprisingly understanding. A few even came up to take pictures, and get some Super Scritchies! The wind gusts from his Thumper Spot-induced kickies were enough to hurl them across the room, but no one seemed to mind. I’ll tag Krypto’s IG later. He’s getting a lot of social media love! #LastDogOfKrypton #BestBoysOfKrypton

Monday, 8:13 am: I’m about to take Krypto out for his morning walk, which will probably be more of a “fly.” I’m glad you gave me this Kryptonian force field belt. I don’t know if it can absorb the impact of a thousand-foot fall, but it should make for some good video content!     

Tuesday, 3:25 pm: I took Krypto to the dog park. He chased a squirrel up a tree, then proceeded to uproot the tree and drop it at my feet, expecting a game of fetch. It was #supercute, but if you could Venmo me for the fine from Metropolis Parks and Recreation, that would be awesome. I’ll try to tire Krypto out with some more conventional fetch at home, but something tells me my throwing arm isn’t as good as yours. All the best.

Wednesday, 1:42 pm: Krypto’s afternoon walk was…eventful. I’m going to need you to Venmo me again, this time for the destruction of my wall, and the collapse of the three floors underneath my unit. #NBD, but I don’t think my security deposit will cover this. Also, a heads-up: Lex Luthor was very upset when Krypto decided to do his business at the front entrance of LexCorp Tower. You may want to keep an eye out for petty acts of revenge when you get home, but TikTok loved it! I think Krypto has kicked off a new “movement” among anti-LexCorp dog owners. #LuthorIsShit is trending!    

Thursday, 4:56 pm: Supergirl came by with Streaky the Supercat and it went about as well as you can imagine. In addition to the eviction, I’m due to be arrested any minute for the devastation wreaked upon downtown Metropolis. Krypto will be flying around unsupervised unless I can post a $300,000.00 USD bond. Even with my newfound powers as a Pet-Sitting Influencer, that is a job for Superman! HELP!! 

Friday, 11:14 am: Things are looking up! Krypto was a #SuperPup in the battle against the forces of Darkseid and his fleet of Parademons. Who would have guessed the amassing of his forces halfway across the galaxy was an elaborate ruse to lure you and the League off-world, leaving Earth vulnerable to a sneak attack? #BestOfBoys, after all! The mayor granted me a pardon, and considering its subsequent obliteration, the owners of my building have forgiven the cost of the prior damages! Krypto is soooo excited to see you. He’s curled up at my feet now while I send you this message from the smoldering crater that was my home just yesterday. He is finally one tired pup. HUGE thanks for offering to put me up at the Fortress of Solitude while I look for a new place. #NewBeginnings See you tomorrow, and keep me in mind when you head to Warworld later this year! #MongulIsAWarCriminalToo  

Corey Pajka and D.L. Siegel are married writers living in Brooklyn, NY. D.L. is an internationally produced playwright who received her BA in English and Theater from Princeton University and her MFA in Playwriting from The New School for Drama. She was a member of The Amoralists’ inaugural playwriting residency, ‘Wright Club, and is currently the Playwright Mentor for Staten Island Shakespearean Theatre’s Women’s Playwright Collective. Corey is also a playwright who has had numerous works produced in New York City and regionally, as well as in podcast form. His satirical work has been featured in Points in Case, The Weekly Humorist, The Broadway Beat, Funny Times, and others. He is the founder and editor of the sociopolitical satire site The Flak (www.the-flak.com) All of their articles are dedicated to their dearly departed Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Sancho Panza. Best of boys and dogs. http://www.dlsiegel.com. http://www.coreypajka.com

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Published by Corey Pajka and D.L. Siegel

Corey Pajka and D.L. Siegel are married writers living in Brooklyn, NY. D.L. is an internationally produced playwright who received her BA in English and Theater from Princeton University and her MFA in Playwriting from The New School for Drama. She was a member of The Amoralists' inaugural playwriting residency, 'Wright Club, and is currently the Playwright Mentor for Staten Island Shakespearean Theatre’s Women's Playwright Collective. Corey is also a playwright who has had numerous works produced in New York City and regionally, as well as in podcast form. His satirical work has been featured in Points in Case, The Weekly Humorist, The Broadway Beat, Funny Times, and others. He is the founder and editor of the sociopolitical satire site The Flak (www.the-flak.com) All of their articles are dedicated to their dearly departed Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Sancho Panza. Best of boys and dogs. www.dlsiegel.com. www.coreypajka.com

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