The Great Pumpkin Wants a Voodoo Ranger Atomic Pumpkin Beer

The sincerest pumpkin patch of all has a stash of Voodoo Ranger Atomic Pumpkin Beer. That’s how you do it. That’s how the Great Pumpkin appears. Linus got it all wrong. And while you’re sitting alone in the pumpkin patch, drinking beer—which doesn’t make you look creepy at all—watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown…

In which Lorde is dating Jacques Derrida

MELorde, I have to tell you something. Yesterday, during the solar eclipse, I kissed Jacques. LORDEJacques Cousteau or Jacques Derrida? MEWell, Jacques Derrida. And I know you two were sort of seeing each other, but— LORDE aims a gun at me. LORDEBet you rue the day you kissed Derrida in the dark. MEI’m not sure…

Rabbit In Repose

Silky. Precious. That’s how Sean’s bunny suit felt against his skin. The satiny inside against his bare nipples was a private thrill, transmitting micro-shivers of subcutaneous pleasure throughout his chest. If there were a tool that measured physical pleasure, its graph readings would be displayed in light pink. Just like the bunny suit. And because…

I Love Yellowjackets Like It’s My Child

There are three constants in life: death, taxes, and having a B-tier show you’re strangely attached to. Back when I was still an obnoxious teenager surrounded by even more obnoxious teenagers—including one who would steal bits of people’s lunches, claiming “Food tax”—I got introduced to Reddit by my friends and eventually wound up on r/horror.…

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