*In case you somehow haven’t seen it yet – spoiler alerts!*

Pour yourself a handsome glass of wine. Maybe also get a flamethrower—and save no one because no one is coming to save you from what happens at the end of season 2, episode 2 of The Last of Us. Okay, maybe if I had played the game, I would have been prepared, but I am deeply saddened by handsome, HANDSOME Joel’s death.

When Abby does him in with the last bits of a golf club (just because he killed her father, sheesh), I found myself huddling on the floor, in solidarity with Ellie shouting, “Get up, Joel! Get up!” But there are no more Fireflies, and the remnants (Abby and her crew) are about to crash out, but not before stirring up a bunch of infected Runners, Clickers, and Bloaters with their fungal-like protrusions waving in the air like they just don’t care—heading right for Jackson.

I just needed to calm down. So, I sipped a Freakshow Red Wine from the Michael David Winery. Vengeance, sadness—that I-just-can’t-go-on-not-sure-if-I-can-watch-another-episode feeling—tastes just like cherry and cocoa with a smokey, peppery finish. Maybe, maybe, if I try hard enough, I might detect crisp, fungal notes, too—just enough to make me want to kiss the next Cordyceps-infected Bloater I see. And tell it: “You actually are, pretty handsome. Congrats on that.”

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Cecilia Kennedy once paired a viewing of Cocaine Shark with Snoop Dogg’s 19 Crimes red wine and never looked back. She’s a writer and editor living in the Greater Seattle area, who publishes mostly horror fiction, but also humor. Her works have appeared in The Daily Drunk, Tiny Molecules, Kandisha Press, DarkWinter Press, Maudlin House, Flash Fiction Magazine, Rejection Letters, 365 Tomorrows Molotov Cocktail, and more. You can find her on X (@ckennedyhola) and Instagram (ceciliakennedy2349) and her DIY Humor blog: https://fixinleaksnleeksdiy.blog/