
*Report to your muster station. The spoiler alert alarm is on.*
From the bowels of the Carnival Triumph (circa 2013)—and Netflix’s documentary team—comes a cautionary, yet heroic tale: Trainwreck: Poop Cruise. This story has everything: more than 4,000 passengers, a fire in the engine that renders a cruise ship useless, relentlessly hot days with no air conditioning or running toilets, and a fully stocked bar. Also, a team of CNN journalists who decide, after a while, that the story is newsworthy enough to share—and share, they do!
So much to unpack. But the crest of the wave of this documentary hits when the toilets, which weren’t really working for a while, really, really, really don’t work. The cruise director then gets the unenviable job of announcing that all who need to drop anchor, will have to do so into a red biohazard bag.
And that’s when you truly see the despair on the passengers’ faces—the ones who tell their story in the documentary: Crap. There goes the vacation. The ship smells rank, everyone’s ready to revolt, and perhaps, they’re stuck at sea like this forever. They’ll just have to make do until they’re saved.
To celebrate the can-do spirit that this documentary captures, there’s a drink you can make, assuming you’ve survived the worst, and you didn’t have to use the biohazard bag. Your souvenir doubles as a cocktail cozy for this “anchors aweigh” concoction. Basically, it’s just coffee-flavored liquor + cola, but you get the idea.
Red Biohazard Bag Cocktail
- Fill a tall glass with ice
- Add equal parts coffee-flavored liquor + cola
- Stir
- Place the glass in a red biohazard bag as a garnish
If you don’t have a biohazard bag just lying around your house, you can purchase one online or stop by your nearest medical supplies store. If anyone stops you and asks why you need a biohazard bag, just tell them you’re taking a cruise, and they will understand.
In any case, the drink itself is strong, yet refreshing with rich, bold flavors and a fun, tingly fizzy finish. I highly recommend it when having a Trainwreck: Poop Cruise watch party at your house. Bottoms up!
Cecilia Kennedy once paired a viewing of Cocaine Shark with Snoop Dogg’s 19 Crimes red wine and never looked back. She’s a writer and editor living in the Greater Seattle area, who publishes mostly horror fiction, but also humor. Her works have appeared in The Daily Drunk, Tiny Molecules, Kandisha Press, DarkWinter Press, Maudlin House, Flash Fiction Magazine, Rejection Letters, 365 Tomorrows, Molotov Cocktail, and more. You can find her on X (@ckennedyhola) and Instagram (ceciliakennedy2349) and her DIY Humor blog: https://fixinleaksnleeksdiy.blog/

[…] In other news: I’ve supplied another very important contribution to The Daily Drunk: “Trainwreck: Poop Cruise & Red Biohazard Bag Cocktail Review” […]
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