The difference in popularity between Arbor Day and Christmas tells you everything you need to know about the priorities of Americans. One asks nothing of people, except to plant a tree in the physical world and to celebrate that. The other asks people to kill a tree, place presents purchased from corporate overlords beneath it and to celebrate an imaginary lord who lives in the sky.

Wilson Koewing is a writer currently drinking at Station 26 brewery in Denver, Colorado. His work has recently appeared in The Daily Drunk, Dreams Walking and The Journal of Compressed Creative Arts.