By the year 2007, there had already been
Three movies in the Fast & Furious franchise,
And only one Michael Scott’s Dunder Mifflin Scranton
Meredith Palmer Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run
Pro Am Race for the Cure.
It was on the latter 5K that the newly coupled
Jim Halpert and Pam Beasley were walking,
Hand in hand, sharing conversations the way
That new couples do –
Even couples who have been friends for years.
And it’s plausible to assume that sometime on this walk,
Jim would make a joke about Michael Scott thinking
The Scranton parking lot was his own personal Tokyo Drift,
And Pam would then admit that she’d always had a crush
On Paul Walker.
“But not really the Fast & Furious Paul Walker,”
She’d say quickly, seeing Jim’s shoulders slump down.
“More like the She’s All That Paul Walker. You know.
Cute, and also sorta prank-y.” Then she’d nudge his ribs,
Which would make Jim feel less jealous, and more apt to carry a lamp.
Colette Marie Murphy (she/her) is a writer, dog mom, and pop culture fanatic living in Southern California. She is currently writing two collaborative stage plays and her first novel, while also penning poems about The Office. You can find her on Twitter at @ThatColette.