“Ogres are still not allowed to vote. It’s already 2020, and we are still disenfranchised. We should organize…”
“But I’ll have my cold beer tonight, and this is one thing they can’t take away from me.”
Then he sings, “In heaven, there is no beer. That’s why we drink it here.”
Shrek considered sharing the frothy brew with Donkey, but the pungent odour made his mouth water in anticipation and he knew he couldn’t part with it. Besides, it had taken almost the whole day to squeeze the juice out of 200 slugs and he was damned well gonna drink it himself.
Sworded men charge at Shrek from all angles. “Come on, guys,” he chuckles before wrapping his meaty hands around a clay mug. “Can’t we settle this over a pint?”
Over heavy breathing and clanking armor, Shrek hears Farquad’s booming voice shout, “Yes!”
They drop their weapons.
Was he buzzing? Sure. A bit lonely? Perhaps.
Whatever it was, he began to make everyone uncomfortable.
“I loved that dog. Why’d my father make me give her away? I still hate that old man!” he slurred.
“Shrek, buddy, maybe it’s time to go,” donkey said.
“Oh piss off, you ass!”
The Universe in a beer glass, he thought. Profound, much? But looked at in this particular light; the amber bubbles a self-replicating helix, swirling into a foam itself reminiscent of the physics of Hawking, Einstein and Planck… Would be rude not to down it in one, wouldn’t it?
“She’s gone,” Shrek thought aloud. They both knew the terms of their arrangement. “Donkey will never know” he said wistfully into his beer.
Elsewhere, Dragon thought of the nights she spent in the swamp. The heartbreak of its ending. “All things burn.”
“I was his All-Star.”
This ale looked suspicious, lacking the usual layers found in the cocktails he usually ordered.
162 days, 14 hours, and 27 minutes sober, Shrek said to himself with a heavy heart.
Tears rolled down his cheek.
But, he thought, without Donkey, I don’t want to live.
He lifted the mug to his lips and gulped.
We asked our Twitter friends to come up with a story about this glorious Shrek picture. These were some of our favorites!