Breakup Aesthetic

We happened to break up right before Fourth of July weekend, and the breeze carried with it aromas of charcoal grills and coconut sunscreen. Most of that weekend, I sat bleary-eyed and inebriated while my friends tried to cheer me up with Adam Sandler movies and fruity cocktails; mostly vodka with a fading hint of cranberry juice and a twist of lime. As we munched on left-over barbecue snacks, chips and pretzels leaving crumbs of salt in the couch cushions, we neared the final scene of The Wedding Singer. This ending – the one where Robbie Hart gets the girl by pouring his heart out in song on an airplane full of strangers – makes me cry when I am stone cold sober. Having just ended a relationship that was half-a-decade long, curled up on a friend’s couch under an old shaggy blanket, wiping chip crumbs off my face while sipping Grey Goose and sobbing uncontrollably to the tune of a song entitled “I Wanna Grow Old With You,” fireworks exploding in the distance – an aesthetic.  

Holly Hagman is a teacher and writer from a small town in New Jersey. She enjoys collecting coffee mugs, cuddling her cats, and defending the use of the Oxford comma. Her work can be viewed via Twitter @hollyhagman or at

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