Garden Gnomes Are Not to be Trusted: A Drunkerview with B F Jones

B F Jones is one of those writers who instantly makes you jealous of their coolness. It’s simple: whenever B F Tweets a new link to one of her stories, I drop what I’m doing to read it ASAP.

I was thrilled when B F wanted to do a Drunkerview with us! So, grab a sixer, order a pizza, and enjoy the show.

1. First off, the B in B F stands for badass, right?

Haha of course it does! But my friends tend to call me Barb or Babs.

2. Tell me about your latest collection, The Fabric of Tombstones. How did you go about putting that together?

Slowly, and in many iterations. It was initially a collection of everything I ever wrote. But then when I reviewed it, I realised that not all of the stories had a place and culled quite a few, including one of my favourites. I then reworked the whole collection so that the stories are interlinked and edited it within an inch of its life.

3. You can have a drink with three people (dead or alive), who are they?

Daphné du Maurier – we’d drink crisp white wine and discuss writing, delusions and madness.

Emir Kusturica – I love his cinéma, it portrays such a zest for life, even in the grimmest times, and we all need that kind of positivity. We’d have a few vodkas, a song and a dance to gypsy rock.

David Bowie – I’d have whatever he’s having, would ask him a thousand questions and very probably embarrass him with my undying love.

4. Everyone has a favorite drunken hero. Who’s yours?

Shane MacGowan.

5. Favorite movie where the characters are just a bunch of drunks?

I’m going to have to go with Withnail just for that iconic “I demand to have some booze!” scene.

6. Last drink you had?

I’m drinking a beer as I type

7. What are you currently working on?

Re-releasing my collection. I had ongoing issues with the distributor (may all their wine be corked forever) and am looking at another platform. I’m getting a new art cover and might add a couple of extra stories so it’s all pretty exciting.

I’m also halfway through a novella and have no idea where it’s going, some of the characters seem to have a life of their own!

8. What do you think of garden gnomes?

They are not to be trusted. One day they will come alive and rule the world. I can see it in the eyes of Ludo, my very own possession, and they way he rides his turtle with such determination.

I’ve locked him in my closet where he lives with my skeletons and empty beer bottles.

9. Got any writing advice?

Be yourself, everyone else is taken.

B F Jones is French and lives in the UK. She has stories published in various UK and US literary magazines: Ellipsis, The Cabinet of Heed, Rejection Letters, Spelk, Idle Ink and Storgy amongst others. Her debut collection, The Fabric of Tombstones, was released in April 2020.

Shawn Berman (@sbb_writer) runs The Daily Drunk. He likes the occasional IPA.

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