I ordered chocolate biscuit pudding today,
desperate for that rush of sugar.
To help me cope with a baby
who was having a bad day.

(Or maybe she was just being a baby.
Either way,
it was making me have a bad day).

And just as it arrived,
she woke up,
needing me,
just when I was really needing
to not be needed.

(Or maybe I just wanted to eat
that damn pudding
before my son got home
and wanted some for himself).

So I called my parents
who were supposed to pick him up after school,
and asked if they could keep him for the afternoon.

Of course they said yes,
and I breathed a sigh of relief,
followed by the usual guilt
while I analysed whether
I had just chosen some pudding
over my son.

(Maybe I’m a struggling new mom,
or maybe I’m just a glutton).

Thushanthi Ponweera is a full time mom and an aspiring writer living in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Her poetry is usually typed hurriedly on the phone, before her kids wake up. You can follow her writing journey at @thushponweera