‘Click Clack,’ ‘Hoopty Hoop,’ And Others Top List

Beverly Hills, CA–After recently announcing that she is pregnant with a boy, mega-star Nicki Minaj said she is considering Click Clack, Hoopty Hoop, and other names for her baby.

‘I like Ken, P-P-Peter, Click Clack, and Lil Freak,’ said Minaj. ‘I also love Boom Boom, Mutha Fucka, Cocka Doodle Do, and Ishubabadow. It’s so hard to pick,’ continued the Grammy nominee. ‘And I think it would be nice if I called the baby boy what I call my husband, so Diznick, Budda Ba Ba Bye, and EEEEEEEEEEEE, are on the table.’

When asked about other names Minaj said, ‘of course I love Hoopty Hoop, but I also love Ayyy-Yo!!!, Brra Ta Ta Ta, and Nin Nin Nin Nin. Or having a little Raah Raah, Uh Huh Uh Huh, or I-I-I-I-I-I-I running around would be adorable.’

Minaj and her husband Kenneth Petty aren’t considering popular baby names like ‘Liam’ and ‘William.’ Minaj said she doesn’t really like those names because ‘most of the Liams I know are stupid-stupid hoes, and every William I’ve met didn’t have a dope dick bicycle.’

Minaj said although she is only a few months pregnant and has more than enough time to pick a name, she is leaning towards calling the baby Owa Owa Owa O, Wabba Wabba Wa What, SNURAhAhAh, or *#@!$~!#(^)%</>@!–\;#–*^4.

Jared Waltzer is a comedy writer and performer. He has studied at UCB, Second City, iO, the Pack Theater, and the Groundlings. Jared currently performs weekly at the PIT, and all over New York City. He is on Twitter and Instagram @JaredWaltzer, and at www.jaredwaltzer.com