I was sitting in my Civic
Looking left to turn right
When an old man on a bike
Leaned into the passenger’s side
And screamed – “AAAAAH” – the absolute shit out of me

Well, I scraped myself off the roof
Laughed, maybe cried
Wondering what
In the fuck
Was that

Traffic finally cleared a path to go
And I made my right-hand turn
Drove for maybe a minute or so
And who did I see up ahead
The old man

Well
I knew
What I had to do
I pulled over to the side as far as I could
And as I came up behind, I smashed on the horn – BRRRRRR

The old man pure lost it, he veered off with a scream
Handlebars jerking to and fro, fro and to
Until finally he slammed into a wall – BANG
And toppled over into the grass
Like an idiot

I laughed

Well, that’s how it went
Sir
Now uncuff me

Rob McFadden is an aspiring novelist based in the Greater Philadelphia
Area. He once got an old man on a bike to run into a telephone pole. The
guy was fine, relax. Twitter: @RobWroteABook