Is anyone taking applications for wax melts? I’m serious. Transform me into a perfect little cube of smelly goodness, please! Okay—I know it’s completely silly and impossible—but for the moment will you just let me pretend to be you, wax melt, and to exist in your presence, wax warmer?

I, too, would like to smell good ALL. THE. TIME. Make me emit the scents of balsam & cedar. Transform me right into a liquid Christmas tree if it pleases you. I like candy canes…it wouldn’t bother me at all to spread peppermint all across the room. Cinnamon??? Come on! It’s a dream of mine to leave little trails of spicy spritzes all over the place.

And oh, to be eternally warm! Wax warmer, won’t you just give me a home? Won’t you just cradle me in your glass arms? Let me be forever within reach of that dappled light you send out that spreads a little joy to everything it touches.

This message brought to you by a somewhat (definitely) creepy wax warmer and wax melt owner who is beyond obsessed.

If you know of anyone taking applications for the position of wax melt impersonator, contact me at…cellphone…melt…ing…  

Elizabeth Bates is a writer from Washington state where she lives with her husband, son, and two Siberian Huskies. Bates is the editor of Dwelling Literary. Bates’ writing has appeared or is forthcoming in Versification, Seaborne Magazine, Your Dream Journal, GLITCHWORDS, Second Chance Lit, Poetically Magazine, and elsewhere. Follow her on Twitter at @ElizabethKBates.