The Beer Coaster Haiku 1

[for Nina] We’d just begun dating & it was explosive, all-consuming. Everything it was reported to be.

Love on every neon sign, a heart scrawled on beerhead, the touch of her boot toe against my ankle. Even the bartender seemed to be flirting with her. I didn’t mind because it was drinks on the house.

While we drank multiple ales & Jameson’s in a dive named after a ship named after a woman, the murmurs were easily interpreted, bad jokes generously laughed at, a philosophy of life no longer confusing cynicism for insight & nihilism for the way forward, musing on the hydraulics of sensuality, the evils of one & every slumlord, the freaky overlap of our top 10 movies. A homeless guy gives us the thumbs up outside the bar window. We got up, gave him a dollar or two because he seemed to so approve of what he saw. His smile – it’s all infectious. & out of nowhere came the haikus. This is where the beer coasters came in handy as if form-fit designed for haiku.

The haiku should fit

But desire traces my pen

Up her slender arm


The blood guides warm ink

Propels thoughts into dreams but No

skating on the rink


Humorous haiku

Foot in the door, hearing more

Where is the deep end?


A gal’s rough shoulder

Flexes her smilie tattoo

Leaps over beer puddle


What button to press

Jukebox finger on A 10 

N’s fave: hope its great


Did she bump the juke

With her hip & skip the song

“I fought the – fought the…?”


Smooth slender finger

Arranges the air around

Who N. then became


Is it Basho who

Quips, chortles then tripping –

oops My hand on her hip


Do the doormen talk

To doors about closed & open?

We should ask them


Curse her broken heel

It no longer inspires as

She leans on me home


Is whiskey a scent

That is meant to lead us

Beyond what we’ve spent?

bart plantenga is the author of novels Beer Mystic, Radio Activity Kills, & Ocean GroOve, short story collection Wiggling Wishbone & novella Spermatagonia: The Isle of Man and wander memoirs: Paris Scratch and NY Sin Phoney in Face Flat Minor. His books YODEL-AY-EE-OOOO: The Secret History of Yodeling Around the World and Yodel in HiFi plus the CD Rough Guide to Yodel have created the misunderstanding that he is one of the world’s foremost yodel experts. He’s also a DJ & has produced Wreck This Mess in NYC, Paris & Amsterdam since forever. He lives in Amsterdam.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *