Wedding Guests

Me (the bride)

Rudy (the groom)

Mom (duh)

Henry (Dad will adjust)

Dad (he’s paying)

Lucille (Mom will adjust)

Jeanine (fiancé fucker but still my best friend)

Pete (Jeanine’s boyfriend who I revenge fucked but Rudy didn’t care)

Aunt Marlene (Dad’s sister who Mom swears is a witch so we stay on her good side)

Uncle Joe (who we think Aunt Marlene turned into a frog and back again but how do you even prove that?)

Lynnie (their ne’er to well daughter whose elbow is the only part of her not surgically enhanced)

Serge (Lynnie’s gymrat boyfriend who beat the crap out of Rudy that time he caught him with Lynnie)

Bosco (Serge’s identical twin who I revenge fucked and all Rudy could say was well at least it wasn’t Serge)

The Hendersons (the upstairs neighbors who started the fire in that apartment we lived in when I was 15           

The Wilsons- (the downstairs couple who looked like a couple of frogs and that’s what convinced Mom that Aunt Marlene was a witch because they were all over for coffee that one time)

The Pattersons (who let us stay with them after the fire [which mom also blamed on Aunt Marlene] and Mom caught Dad with Mrs. Patterson, which is why they got the divorce)

The Prentices (who introduced Dad to Lucille)

The Scotts (who introduced Mom to Henry)

Ed Crane (Mom’s divorce lawyer who we’re inviting to keep in good graces in case Henry fucks up, or as Mom whispered to me last week over coffee, in case Rudy does)

Bella (my new friend who insists on wearing yoga pants. ALL. THE. TIME and Rudy says it’s not so bad and why don’t I get off her case)

Jimbo (New guy at the gym and cut like my engagement ring)

The Band, the caterer, the photographer, the florist, the man who releases the doves, the bubble machine guy, the DJ for when the band takes a break, the funny sunglasses chick, the coat check, the rest room attendant.

The preacher (OMG, I almost forgot)

Francine Witte’s poetry and fiction have appeared in Smokelong Quarterly, Wigleaf, Mid-American Review, Passages North, and many others. Her latest books are Dressed All Wrong for This (Blue Light Press,) The Way of the Wind (AdHoc fiction,) and (The Theory of Flesh.) Her chapbook, The Cake, The Smoke, The Moon (flash fiction) will be published by ELJ September, 2021. She lives in NYC.

Categories: Fiction

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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