So you didn’t get the Air Jordan Morpho for Christmas: Slippers are better anyway

GQute Column #1

Listen up, sneakerheads: It’s going to be okay. You didn’t get the Air Jordan Morpho under your Christmas tree, but it’s not because Santa hates you. My sources tell me that he doesn’t shop on the black market; price gouged goods just aren’t his thing. Those sweet kicks don’t have a launch date in the States. But you’re not missing out. Sure, they’re cool as f*ck. You’re cool, too. Why the hell not? Happy Holidays.

But where would you wear them anyway? Your next Zoom pick-up game? You’d scuff them up and cry into your IPA. And, hey, I’d cry, too. They’re gorgeous with their mostly white leather, all that iridescent threading, the black tongue and ankle collar the perfect background for the color shifts in the laces: sparkle arches. That’s what they’d call you in envious whispers. The best part is the Eclipse plate set mid-foot with its gradient blue a waterfall from darker blue at the midpoint, crashing into a frothy green sole: A mist to get lost in.

Air Jordan took inspiration from the Blue Morpho Butterfly; its wide wingspan reminiscent of the Morpho’s inspiration, its special edition sneaker recipient: Guo Ailun. He’s got a nasty crossover and some quick plays. Like the Blue Morpho, blinking in and out of existence with each flap of its giant wings, Ailun confuses the defense scoring on them before they can even stand back up. 

But some sneakers aren’t going to make you any faster. Maybe work on dunking your cookies, nothing but milk. No worries though; you did get the hook-up. Santa had your back. Those faux-leather moccasin slippers from Target are way better than any Air Jordan Morpho. Has a sneaker ever given your foot a warm hug? I didn’t think so. Are you gonna jam your foot in a $180 pair of sweet ass sneakers potentially crushing the heel and putting signs of wear on the white leather? I think not. But your Target moccasin slippers are built for wear; slip them on. Feel the warmth of the polyester fur-lining between your toes. Take them for a spin to the mailbox. Hell, wear them to the bodega: They’ve got outdoor soles!

Just don’t forget to bring back a box of hot chocolate, wrap yourself in a blanket, put your moccasin feet on the coffee table. Honestly, you deserve it. Don’t worry about what was in the mail today. Sip your hot chocolate, feel the hug on your feet. Think about all those people worrying about scuffing their fancy sneakers while you’re chilling in your joggers, warm from your toes to your chocolatey tongue.

And just remember: comfort won this time.

Ryan Norman (he/him) is a queer writer from New York living in the Hudson Valley. Ryan enjoys swimming in mountain lakes and climbing tall things. He is a contributing editor of creative nonfiction with Barren Magazine. His work has appeared in From Whispers to Roars, XRAY Literary Magazine, Black Bough Poetry, Hobart, Maudlin House, and elsewhere. His micro chapbook I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A BOND GIRL is forthcoming with The Daily Drunk (2021). You can find him on Twitter @RyanMGNorman or

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