The “claw” in White Claw, for me, belongs to a lobster, whose rich and buttery flesh proved to be too much for my nine-year-old stomach way back when. When that lobster clawed its way back up, I was given Fresca sodas to calm the nausea, which actually made things worse. And all of these memories came crawling back when I took my first sip of White Claw Hard Seltzer Ruby Grapefruit, which was not really all that bad.
Don’t get me wrong. Those memories are still Fresca-fresh in my mind. My grandparents, who lived in Arizona and had survived the Great Depression, were proud to take my family out to dinner when we would visit from Ohio. “Order the lobstah,” my grandfather would say in his Boston accent—so I would. And I’d eat the whole thing—after taking on a hot Arizona summer day the way I would an Ohio summer day: by running about wildly—no time to drink water or go inside or calm the freak down. So, it wasn’t really the lobster’s fault, and the Fresca antidote didn’t help, either.
But will that stop me from drinking the White Claw? No. At first, the can is intimidating—it’s huge.
“I’m not sure I’m going to be able to finish this whole thing by myself,” I tell my husband Nate. But every time I say that I’m like, “Hey! Wait! I’m done. I finished it!”
In this case though, I want to savor every sip, so I come up with a little list of questions and answers to keep track of my reactions as I polish off the can:
–Do I notice a weird saccharine-sweet aftertaste of sorts? No. Sort of. Maybe. It’s probably just in my head.
–Do I taste citrus? Yes.
–Do I like it? Yes.
–Do I taste lobster? No, thank God.
–Do I feel nauseas? No, not yet.
–Do I like this drink now? Not sure. I’ll have to drink more.
–How about now? Maybe.
–Do I need help finishing the can? No. It’s going down pretty smoothly—clean—refreshing even.
–So I like it? Hold on. Not done yet. Okay I’m done.
Conclusion: Yes. I like it. White Claw Ruby Grapefruit: Not quite like a Fresca. Definitely not a lobster.
Cecilia Kennedy once taught Spanish and English courses in Ohio for many years. She now lives in the Greater Seattle area, and writes horror stories. Her blog (Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks: https://fixinleaksnleeksdiy.blog/) chronicles her humorous (and perhaps scary?) attempts at cooking and home repair.