as I tap my Cap’n Crunch – Crunch Berries

the dog stares at me    head cocked

chin tilted slightly up    eyes all knowing

my wife hates the Clink, Clink, Clink 

spoon off the side of the bowl

If I wanted dry cereal, I wouldn’t have

put the fucking milk on it!   all the berries must be wet!

I know she’s not smart   

the dog, not my wife

I watched her miss one of two steps

 that lead to the front porch    face-planting

not one small cry or yelp

She eats bunny poop in the front yard

She always wants to lick my feet

The dog, not my wife

She won’t even look at those nasty things

but the way the she looks    searching

into my eyes right now

The dog, not my wife

I believe she has all the answers

to all the big questions

The dog she knows

but we both know the really big question

floating through that fluffy white head

When am I going to miss my mouth?

Sending a crunch berry rolling down my chin

bouncing off my belly and landing right at her feet

All the big answers



Jason Melvin received a gimmicky T-shirt from his teenage daughter on Christmas with a picture of one large fist fist-bumping a much smaller fist.  The caption read, “Behind every smart-ass daughter is a truly asshole Dad”.  It fit.