Wassail!

I’m getting ready for Easter with a double brown stout flavored with licorice and smoke and combining it with some of Denmark’s most riveting medieval literature about seal fights and incest.

This is undoubtedly the best time of the year for rabbits to procreate, which is to say, make more rabbits in baby-form via the deeply physical and primal act of copulation. 

The Limfjordsporter does not come in six-packs so I bought six individual bottles and made my own. That’s what I call D.I.Y.

The label proclaims that it is “the gentleman of beer.” Kudos. 

Ooohhhh…it pours dark and frothy. The licorice enhancement is a nice touch but it could have used some lactose too, to really give it that silky smooth punch so appropriate for the seasonal themes of fertility, birth, and mammary gland lactation.

But at 7.9%, this beer really knows how to set the mood.

And so do the Easter baskets chock-fill of pastel-colored chicken eggs scattered around my house.

Go big or go home.

I am home.

I am at home with my self-made Limfjordsporter six-pack.

I will celebrate the season and the resurrection of myself tomorrow morning when I awaken upon the floor like a bleary-eyed spring doe emerging from the vernal womb. 

Rowdy Geirsson unsuccessfully attempts to promote Leif Erikson awareness and barely maintains Scandinavian Aggression, a mediocre blog about Vikings. He is the editor of Norse Mythology for Bostonians and is a regular contributor to Metal Sucks, McSweeney’s, Points in Case, and Slackjaw. Follow him on Twitter @RGeirsson, or don’t.