I love playing Beerio Kart. We should do this more often.

Don’t start the race yet, I gotta mix this drink. Hey, where’s your lime juice? Yes, I know it’s supposed to be played with beer. What’s the harm in a little carbonated liquor?

Oh, I love this track. Classic 64. I hate red shells. Oh my god, we should order pizza. Why do I play this with liquor again? Of course I’m down for shots. Jaeger or whiskey?

Oops, I’m drunk.

Is that the pizza guy? Fuck I love cheese. Fucking lightning again? Third place because of that! I love my friends. If they hit me with one more blue shell, this friendship is over.

This is miserable. My stomach is too full. How could cheese and Jaeger do this to me? Who could have known carbonation and carbs would be a bad combination?

Sure, I’ll do another round of Beerio Kart. This time I’m gonna kick your ass. Another blue shell? Those rat bastards. I love my friends.



Alex Wright is an emerging writer and recent graduate of George Mason University. He’s a big fan of Douglas Adams and Gin. He spends his days job searching, playing video games, and forgetting he has a twitter account: @WrighterAlex