i. 13 years old
Water was splashing in my mouth
I was singing You Belong With Me under the Niagara Falls
because I wanted my best friend’s
made-up character to be in love with mine
It felt realer as everyone joined in like a singing plague
ii. 15 years old
I Knew You Were Trouble played on my little alarm clock radio and it reminded me of my latest best friend’s made-up version of himself
in the fake diary he was writing
in which I lost my memory in a car crash and he convinced me he was my boyfriend
Every evening I couldn’t wait for more attention
iii. 17 years old
I heard Shake It Off for the first time and laughed at it with
two people who were best friends with one another but eventually not me,
because I was crazy,
still dripping on the couch from breaking
into that outdoor pool
iv. 20 years old
I kept working after class
and before rehearsal, in the cafeteria
writing my play and listening to Gorgeous, connecting it to my characters although
it didn’t have much to do with them
and at first I’d despised it
v. 22 years old
I cried with the sunset to Lover, every day in a house that wasn’t mine
because my boyfriend was moving even further away and I couldn’t stop thinking
what if he met someone
or what if he mixed chemicals while cleaning
or if what if he never found a doctor and one day collapsed?
I was prescribed my medication shortly before Folklore.
Palaces is Editor-in-Chief of Wrongdoing Magazine, Staff Contributorat The Aurora Journal, Hecate Magazine, and The Jupiter Review, and Editor elsewhere. She has a BAH from Queen’s University, and she’s placed work in Eclectica Magazine, Maudlin House, Witch Craft Magazine,and many others. Find her at pascalepotvin.com or @pascalepalaces on Twitter.