Dick Comes Out Front to Strut His Stuff, Long After the Bell Has Rung, While Somewhere Out There, The Other Bloke’s Doing Precisely The Same Damn Thing

Dick comes out front to strut his stuff. 

There’s no little guy with water and sponge to wet him down, 

But he’s doing the punch-drunk thing, and the fists are up and, 

“Boom!” he’s telling Daisy on Reception how it went 

And what he said 

And why the other guy had Nowhere to Hide 

And how many bells he knocked out of him before the call was done. 

‘course, she’s heard his bit of the conversation already. 

Dick’s the only one with an office, sure, 

But his walls are thinner than the austerity bog roll 

They’ve installed since that last contract of his went for a burton 

Because he put the decimal point in the wrong place 

And no amount of strutting was going to make the money back. 

Daisy’s heard Dick agreeing with whatever the other bloke said; 

Heard him giving it the “Of course we can” and the “no problem”,  

Like he would if he had the power, the money, the ability to deliver any of it, 

Any of it at all. 

And so now, after he’s put the phone down, 

After he’s no doubt felt the blood drain from his cheeks, 

After he’s wondered how long it’ll last before he’s rumbled, 

He’s out here strutting his stuff, 

Giving it his “Boom!”, waving his fists, 

And needing Daisy to be impressed. 

Which would work a whole lot better, she thinks, 

If she didn’t know – because it’s not like she doesn’t talk with her opposite number 

Across the other side of town – 

That the other guy is right now doing precisely the same thing. 

Another Dick just strutting his stuff, 

Only, in his case, without the name to prove the point. 



Mike Hickman (@MikeHicWriter) is a writer from York, England. He has written for Off the Rock Productions (stage and audio), including 2018’s “Not So Funny Now” about Groucho Marx and Erin Fleming. He has recently been published in EllipsisZine, Dwelling Literary, Bandit Fiction, Nymphs, Flash Fiction Magazine, Brown Bag, and Safe and Sound Press. His co-written, completed six-part BBC radio sit com remains frustratingly as unproduced as it was the last time he updated this biography. It will shortly be rewritten as a children’s board book.

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