We’re all Linked-in with Russell. Whether we like it or not

Russell is pleased to tell all-comers about his passion, his drive, and his hunger. 

And he’ll illustrate this with shots of him and his wife (the latest one, we have to presume, because he’s deleted last season’s shots), 

His car (2021 Audi Q3 in electric blue), 

And the chef’s table experience at Gordon Ramsay’s where he blew 

a grand on himself in one evening, 

And then charged it to expenses 

On account of a new account for the company, 

Which he’s pleased to tell you about, too. 

And the thing is, Russell’s not alone, 

He didn’t come to this thinking, 

“I wonder how this works, then? 

I wonder what the code of conduct is for people on here?” 

He’s looked at the others posting their mock-humble homilies 

About “Intelligent Living” and “Fearing Less” and 

“Self Confidence” and “Growth” (always with the growth), 

And he’s noted how much these lack intelligence, fear standing out, 

Have zero confidence in any convictions, and shrivel from the truly distinctive,  

When the truly distinctive might reconsider the need for a phallus substitute car, 

And any amount of bling (Rolex very much not-optional). 

And then he’s gone and posted anyway, 

Sitting back, no doubt, to wait for the approbation in the comments to come. 

And he claims that he’s earned his success because he “hasn’t given up and he hasn’t ceased believing.” 

Whilst making sure to post the comment with his car keys in shot. 

And we read this stuff, day after day, and we doubt him? 

Of course we do – of all the links we might have with our profligate friend here –  

That one is always going to be the strongest. 

Mike Hickman (@MikeHicWriter) is a writer from York, England. He has written for Off the Rock Productions (stage and audio), including 2018’s “Not So Funny Now” about Groucho Marx and Erin Fleming. He has recently been published in EllipsisZine, Dwelling Literary, Bandit Fiction, Nymphs, Flash Fiction Magazine, Brown Bag, and Safe and Sound Press. His co-written, completed six-part BBC radio sit com remains frustratingly as unproduced as it was the last time he updated this biography. Even so, it’s going on hiatus over the summer. Before returning as a Hollywood blockbuster.

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