Pictured: “Manager on laptop at end of bar” installation that drinks beer and educates patrons on how to create a schedule for 14 people who call in sick all the time.
Big Brassy Lady Brewery has unveiled the newest installment to its taproom, a manager doing work on her laptop at the end of the bar. “We think the manager working on her laptop will look great in the taproom,” Tanya Dippy, 45, the breweries owner, told local news outlets, “It lets customers see what it’s like to create a work schedule for 14 people who call in sick all the time, which is awesome.” The brewery also features various installations regarding the production of each of its signature beers. The ‘manager on her laptop at the bar’ installation uses state-of-the-art technology to give the illusion of a fully functioning bar manager in her thirties trying to take care of last-minute work that she doesn’t really care about. It passes questions off to the bartender, complains about people “using school as an excuse to not work” and drinks a shift beer. The shift beer rotates daily, and patrons are asked to guess which beer the installation is drinking for a chance to receive a free pint. “I think people are going to love how annoyed she looks while they’re trying to enjoy a night out,” Dippy continued, “Our real manager loves it because now she can go outside and smoke, and nobody will notice.” Big Brassy Lady Brewery will unveil the installation this weekend and customers are asked to give it at least three barstools of space or else it will roll its eyes, close its laptop, and walked to the back of the brewery.
Austin Mooney is a comedy writer based in Chicago.