Look, Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One

Look, stop me if you’ve heard this one, but it goes like this: 

The Prime Minister today was hit by a custard pie outside Downing Street. 

One, a stodgy, largely-pastry based, dairy and animal fat laden concoction; 

The other, a custard pie. 

It works with expectation, you see, and that includes being pretty much the same formulation every time. 

The citizens of City X complained last night about the proposed new sewage works for Moor Heath. 

The smell of unprocessed human excrement, they said, filling the air with its eye-wateringly uric-tang was already quite strong enough in their parts without the sewage works coming in and spoiling it. 

Some comedians call it a “bait and switch” and they revel in leading the audience off down a verbose path of anticipation – expect Y and get X; 

Their wit and sophistication might amuse, 

But they’re going to work this old trick on you instead (see what I did there?) 

So, yeah, you can stop me if you’ve heard this one, if you want, 

But if you’re waiting for me to pull the rug, 

Well, just this once I’m not going to do that. 

Because I’ve written a poem about it instead. 

Mike Hickman (@MikeHicWriter) is a writer from York, England. He has written for Off the Rock Productions (stage and audio), including 2018’s “Not So Funny Now” about Groucho Marx and Erin Fleming. He has recently been published in EllipsisZine, Dwelling Literary, Bandit Fiction, Nymphs, Flash Fiction Magazine, Brown Bag, and Safe and Sound Press. His co-written, completed six-part BBC radio sit com remains frustratingly as unproduced as it was the last time he updated this biography. Even so, it’s going on hiatus over the summer. Before returning as a Hollywood blockbuster. Perhaps direct-to-video.

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