after Ric Flair
All afternoon long I’ve
been across the street
throwing bags and waving
flags—Wooooo!—Haven’t
you heard about me?
Don’t you know why I
want to be called Cowboy
Baby? I am here to warn
the world about this
Harley-riding,
Jetski-gliding,
first-wife leaving—
Wooooo!— wheeling,
dealing, son-of-a six
gun. I’ve spilt more liquor
on money than you’ve
made standing up. Read
the room, mean Gene. The
letters here spell T-H-E
(pause) B-E-S-T. Because
that’s what I am, world: nothing
but the best. And when I
get up to the ring—Woo
ooo!—you best bet your
ass I’ll be ready.
Avery Gregurich is a writer living and working in Marengo, Iowa. He was raised next to the Mississippi River and has never strayed too far from it.