After Mall Rats

Writing the poem

is like William staring

for the Magic Eye

sailboat while

all around him

men try on panties

and eat shit

laced pretzels.

Just when you think

you’ve nailed it,

the third nipple

turns out to be

pink chewing gum

and the whole thing

comes crumbling

down like a temporary

gameshow soundstage.



Matt Schultz has transitioned from drinking stouts to quaffing lagers. It’s summer, drunks!