1. Snap into a Slim Jim!
2. I can’t see straight. I feel it in my gut, yeah. I could blow at any moment.
3. The cream rises to the top!
4. I’m not going down like a baby!
5. Sweet and sour give me the power.
6. I’m ALWAYS jittery! It’s part of my personality!
7. Be a man, Hogan!
8. I say I’m a million percent. That is better than one hundred percent!
9. Cup o’ coffee in the big time, yeah.
10. Take the cake. Take it, take it, take it!
11. Who’s in the danger zone?!
12. I feel a tingle in my teeth. I could chew through a frying pan!
13. Embrace the crash. Feel the lights go out on ya!
14. There’s an airplane going by, and I’M NOT ON IT!
15. On balance, off balance, doesn’t matter; I’m better than you are.
16. Lock up those cupboards. Throw away the keys; I always find a way to get in!
18. Expect the unexpected in the kingdom of Madness!
19. Raising the stakes like eating icing off the cake.
20. The tower of power! Too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!
21. The agony and ecstasy. The simultaneous feeling of pain and pleasure!
22. I can now see through time and space, and I know – uh huh, things don’t look good for you!
My Five-Year Son on a Sugar-High: 2, 4, 5, 7, 10, 12, 13, 16, 19, 21, 22
“Macho Man” Randy Savage: 1, 3, 6, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 18, 20
Both: 7, 17
Matthew Grimminck is a comedy writer based out of London, Ontario. He writes his own Comedy/Parenting blog, The Juice Box Journals, and is also a featured player at Shut The Front Door Improv. Twitter: @sweet_matty_g