The media will speak of it
and yeah, things have been rough already
but folks are in for a real shock
when the offices open up
and we’re jumping up and down
struggling to button up
caught in the clutches
of a pants-demic

Ain’t no vaccine
to stop me scoffing
sweet treats
It’s the pain of sucking in
or the stares for sticking out
No more pain au chocolat
time to move that fat ass

Sweat easier now
vacuuming feels like
a strength and conditioning regimen
Really get that core working
bending to pick up all those Legos

Sporting endeavours for the week
is watching Hard Knocks
feeling reassured
by the sight of O-line men
Only lacking the freakish athleticism
and millions
otherwise we’re the same

Not calorie counting
but tallying how many times
the dishwasher has been loaded in a day
but if the pants fit
feel free to have another portion
Beware though,
the coming shortage of trousers
in the next size.

Scott Cumming never considered himself to be a writer until recently, but turns out he has some stuff to say. He has been published at The Daily Drunk, Punk Noir Magazine, Versification, and Shotgun Honey. His poem, “Blood on Snow”, was voted the best of Outcast Press Poetry Things We Carry issue and his debut poetry chapbook is due for release in December. Twitter: @tummidge Website: scottcummingwriter.wordpress.com