WARNING: THIS VIDEO CASSETTE WILL MELT IF LEFT IN THE CAR OR IN THE SUN!

In a universe in which 

the video rental places weren’t 

butchered by Netflix, 

taunted and gutted 

like Drew Barrymore 

in the first ten 

minutes of Scream

I’m behind the counter

guiding those wearing 

out the gaudy 

screensaver carpet

by providing the right 

recommendations for 

a Friday night

Gross-Out Horror Flicks 

for First Time Sleepovers

RomComs for the 

Heart-worn Wanderers

A Black&White Noir

for every Dad

who longs to exclaim 

now this, this is cinema

I miss the tactility of film

the movement of the silver mouth 

spitting the tape back out

nothing hums like the rewind 

did you remember to be kind

so you don’t have to pay the fee

please browse a little longer

this place is not 

a place of honour 

but it fills its niche 

In this universe 

we live out the long night 

continue to sell popcorn at a markup

don’t peel away like 

seven day rental stickers 

on new releases



K.Blair (they/she) recently took a quiz on ‘what horror trope are you?’ and is very smug that she got ‘Final Girl’. They are biding their time on Twitter @WhattheBlair, and Instagram, @urban-barbarian. 

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