If you know what you’re doing, you can see what will happen before it happens. Knowing what you’re doing, looks a lot like watching reality tv. Because when Kelly Killoren Benisom’s Scary Island jelly beans start to sound like the best gastrique ingredient in Flavortown market, you’ve broken the code. Truly nothing can break you anymore, the fever dream is too strong, you can’t go to sleep because you’ve never been awake or you’re always awake or you take a daily nap at 4pm and will never marry that laundromat tycoon with a possible drug habit. The order of things doesn’t matter, just the reaction. When Guy puns his way through three, two, one, go, it doesn’t matter how you ended up holding the sugar cookies, just as long as you know you’re doing it to be a bitch.
Are you glad to watch Erika and Rinna eat their once a year hot dog because they are just like you, or because you want their insides to rot? Either way, you’re watching.
Megan Cannella (she/they) is a Midwestern transplant currently living in Nevada. Her debut chapbook, Confrontational Crotch and Other Real Housewives Musings, is out now and available at https://linktr.ee/mcannella. You can find Megan on Twitter at @megancannella.