Worry & a sea of guts more knotted than all the tails tangled on the Kite Eating Tree 

Dinner for a dozen friends- be easier to strike up a friendly chat with the Little Redheaded Girl

5 cent therapy only gets some derisive laughs before the piano player comes up after four advice on how to get your sister off his back

Then- salvation, thanks to your far too cool beagle; a Cooker Bot 3000!

They look like the hero of your favorite movie,  Here Comes Tobar, albeit with a bit more rusted, ramshackle parts. 

But, your best friend brings over his mom’s copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking to feed to the brain of Cooker Bot 3000, so you keep the faith. 

And what a feast!

Cornbread Stuffing! Artesian Potato Rolls! Cranberry Orange Compote! French Green Bean Casserole! Truffle Mashed Potatoes! Sweet Corn Pudding! Jellybeans! Popcorn! Who Pudding! Roast Beast!

& then, the star performer, the hero of the table- Tom Turkey. 

A sumptuous bird- 20 pounds of brined, butter basted, and lovingly roasted with fresh herbs (and a bit of lemon) to make it a masterpiece. 

& then Cooker Bot 3000 went haywire, roaring thru the middle of the table, and dragging the feast with him, off into the horizon, before they exploded. 

All your friends glare & shout in unison:

“CHARLIE BROWN, YOU BLOCKHEAD! YOU RUINED THANKSGIVING!”

You hang your head, yet again, and mutter:

“Good grief.”



Clem Flowers (They/ Them) is a poet, eldritch horror,  & soft spoken southern transplant living in a mountain’s shadow in Utah. In an eternal quest to be the host in constant disbelief in an infomercial. Nb, bi, and queer as the day is long, they live in a cozy apartment with their wonderful wife & sweet calico kitty. Found on Twitter @clem_flowers. Oven roasted bacon Brussel sprouts is their go- to Thanksgiving side to make & bring to any dinner.