Call of Duty: Vanguard

It has arrived, people: Call of Duty: Vanguard.  We have witnessed the destruction of our beautiful, beautiful mistress Verdansk and in its replacement is the jaw droppingly beautiful map of Caldera.

My initial thoughts on Vanguard after playing a solid amount this past few weeks (multiplayer, not campaign mode):

  1. The map is a significant improvement.  I’ll always miss Verdansk and parts of the map like the airport tower for sniping, the prison, the recently created salt mine and of course, helicopters.  However, Vanguard has given us an expansive, gorgeous, mountainous range.  It’s filled with hills, rivers and underground bunkers creating possibilities for all sorts of blood baths and who doesn’t love a good ol’ fashion bloodbath?  Speaking of bloodbaths, definitely check out Lush’s most recent addition to their bath bombs called – “bloodbath.”  You and your loved one can make love in a horrifying, blood filled tub!  Single?  Well, if you’re interested in creating a bloodbath that’s not surprising, but welcome to the club – my wife just left me after buying her one.
  1. Moving on, I definitely miss my loadouts!  Since Vanguard is taking us back to the 1940s much of the loadout guns using more recent technology are obsolete.  Adjusting thus far has been slow as you’ll randomly pick up a gun and have great difficulty shooting it.  In other words, you’ll get murdered in cold blood because your gun instantly recoils to the sky.  This may also be due to the fact that I’m talentless.  Remember, I’m 32-years-old and 99% of the time I find myself being eviscerated by children that clearly haven’t hit puberty yet.  At my age, I’ve already reached retirement in the COD landscape.  I guess user “xXxIPwnyourMomxXX” was right when he said “Maybe you should read the manual before you pick up the controller again, turd nugget!”  It hurt, but it was a fair statement.  He executed me after all.

    Seriously though, some initial gun recommendations would be the NZ41 for mid-range shooting and the STG44 is a mobile AR.  Also, the Bar reminds me of the Oden with less recoil and it packs a serious punch for noobs like myself. 
  1. Lastly, I was having so much fun playing Call of Duty Vanguard I almost called out sick from my job.  OK FINE, I called out sick, don’t be such a narc.  If it’s any consolation, I no longer have that job.

Overall, as I continue to level up my guns and get a lay of the land, the passion for Call of Duty among my wildly average COD crew and I is greater than ever.  Sure, none of us can outplay a squad of 12-year-olds, but we’ve got heart, damn it!  See you on the battlefield my friend and stay frosty.


Seth Borkowski is a New York-based writer who enjoys writing about dating, self-improvement, sports and the challenges of growing older as a millennial. You can read more of his work at sethborkowski.com.

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