A Ruby Fizz and Righteous Gemstones Kind of Night

When dark forces threaten to expose your whereabouts last Tuesday—when you told your boss that you were getting a root canal, but really, you bought the Disney+/Hulu package and couldn’t leave your sofa—run straight for the salvation of a stiff drink and the most outrageous protectors (and flashers) of family jewels you’ll ever meet: The Gemstone family. I have been watching Righteous Gemstones religiously now, and I think it’s high time that I paired my new obsession with a powerful drink: the ruby fizz.

The ruby fizz is mostly gin. If building a megachurch, like the Gemstones did, you need a solid foundation, and for this drink, it’s gin. The gin is probably the locked money vault in the basement—it’s the thing that holds everything down. Lemon juice is next + a dash of bar sugar, grenadine, and a splash of ginger ale on top. The whole thing turns more of a pink, than a ruby color, but it’s still beautiful, reminiscent of the 80s talk-show backdrop for the Gemstone show when Amy Lee and Baby Billy performed “Ain’t Misbehavin’.” In fact, this drink makes me want to do some car prankin’ with my friends and start clogging—maybe throw a potato through someone’s window, just to make a point.

In any case, the ruby fizz tastes a little bit like grapefruit juice, but not quite as bitter. You just keep sipping it wondering if you really like it, but then you decide that you do, and you want another one. So be sure to stock up on plenty of gin, the mighty rock upon which the ruby fizz rolls.


Cecilia Kennedy once taught Spanish and English courses in Ohio for many years. She now lives in the Greater Seattle area, and writes horror stories. Her blog (Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks: https://fixinleaksnleeksdiy.blog/) chronicles her humorous (and perhaps scary?) attempts at cooking and home repair.

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