My four-year-old son, Oscar, is a Level 33 Pokémon Go trainer named “OChabPika” and about once a week, I log […]

Heat Level Index: *****   Bruce Lee’s One Inch Punch ****     Joe Pesci Smashing Your Head With A Phone *** […]

When I lived in Macau and Hong Kong, I had a few opportunities to participate in karaoke jams. We would […]

I remember being in love with being Bloom, with being a statuesque pyromaniac threading her way through a color drenched […]

I’m convinced my wife never would have married me if we went on our first date at the mall. It […]

 1.     According to the news, numbers are going up: covid cases, degrees Fahrenheit, percentage of the population who […]

I was on stage with Diana Ross at age 5.  Thousands of people screaming.  Of course, I was not the […]

Sam, Aaron, and I lived in our apartment in college during our junior and senior years. During this time, Law 7 was consistently invoked, and after […]

I’ve been in three bands during my lifetime. Two of them, Spewing Fish Vomit, and Harassing Sandy, I’ve discussed previously. […]

California is once again on fire, so let’s raise a pint to Finland. I hear they have great, year-round Baltic […]

Imagine a cute t-shirt as a McDonald’s hamburger–cheap, mass-produced, poor quality.  Got a picture? Now you know what fast fashion […]

when i was 10, my sister got sick of my constantly-dying, needing-a-sharpened-pencil-pressed-in-the-reset-hole tamagotchi and made me a neopets account. here, […]

I have to be the most fuckable person at Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous for some reason.  Oh wait. L […]