There are 472.8 miles
Between the Dunder Mifflin office
And Flavortown, USA,
Flavortown is 117.3 miles from Miami University
Where Kelly will go with Ravi
Which is nowhere near Scully’s Tavern in Miami
That Guy featured in Season 3
Of Diners, Drives-Ins, and Drives.
You’d have to travel 1,486.9 miles
To get from Scully’s Tavern to Harvard University
Where Elle Woods went to Law School.
But that story isn’t a worthy desert island movie
(According to Jim, anyway).
It would take 288.1 miles to return
From Harvard to Scranton,
Which is where Ryan goes to business school,
While Guy Fieri is 282.6 miles away
At the Starlite Lounge in Blawnox, PA.
And no matter how many miles
Separate these guys
There is no measurable distance to how far
Dwight will attempt to go
For Michael’s approval.
But there’d be no bus to Flavortown
If all they served
Was burnt cheese pitas.
Colette Marie Murphy (she/her) is a writer, dog mom, and pop culture fanatic living in Southern California. She is currently writing two collaborative stage plays and her first novel, while also penning poems about The Office. You can find her on Twitter at @ThatColette.
Categories: Guy Fieri