Acrostic Ode to Kevin Malone

Sticks in hand, he plays the synchronous syncopation
Casino Night proves to be more than a chance to play poker
Roy wants to hire the band for the wedding (that will never happen).
Accounting came after he initially applied to work in the warehouse;
Naturally, this was the result of Michael Scott having a “feeling” about him.
The comically large jar of M&Ms remains hidden under his desk.
Only the Scranton employees – not those Stamford transfers – can know about it.
Number 69 is, unsurprisingly, his favorite, much to Angela Martin’s chagrin.
If only that plus keleven really did get you home by seven…
Chili could be on the menu every night.
It’s kind of a shame things didn’t work out with Stacey.
To be honest, he’s one of the more quotable Dunder Mifflin-ites. For example:
“You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it!”

Colette Marie Murphy (she/her) is a writer, dog mom, and pop culture fanatic living in Southern California. She is currently writing two collaborative stage plays and her first novel, while also penning poems about The Office. You can find her on Twitter at @ThatColette.

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