Jimmy laces his Chuck Taylors as his wife boots up Ballers on their Amazon HBO subscription and he can’t help but wonder how that dude wipes his ass.
His whole body makes no sense, looks mad uncomfortable, and makes Jimmy think his wife is like the bellwether of all women, re: the whole Rock thing.
Jimmy leaves; big perturbed.
He’s not completely unaware that his biggest challenge in his examined life is to recognize when he’s being a petty, small, and jealous little hater
But, seriously, he (Jimmy) thinks, how the fuck does The Rock even wipe his ass.

Scott Mitchel May is a writer living in rural Wisconsin with his family. You can follow Scott on Twitter @smitchelmay