Eulogy for a Beloved Curmudgeon

cowboy
stuntman
scene-stealer
a postmaster and a general
who by God gets things done

most memorably
he was the portly pitchman
walrus on horseback in a ten-gallon hat

the way he growled
‘DIE-A-BEETIS’
made him the butt of jokes
an improbable internet rap star
smiling along from behind the mustache

Wilford Brimley is a legend in my eyes
(and eyes of many)
an out-of-the-closet diabetic
never in denial of the disease
because the Beetis is
nothing
to be ashamed of

never the leading man
he was just a feller
who dialed the 1-800 number
for diabetic supplies
admonishing the world
to eat Quaker Oats because it’s the right thing to do

J. Archer Avary is a Guernsey-based poet and lifelong Wilford Brimley fan who only wishes he could grow a moustache that cool. Twitter: @j_archer_avary.

Categories: Poetry

Daily Drunk

Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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