Two days after the car accident,
I sit on the church steps
Playing a game I was told would send me to hell.

But since I’m already there,
I play, and I’m losing the battle.

My stomach is still swirling,
Body still trying to generate cells for the bent back fingernails,
The blood at the tip of my finger.

It’s a Vaporeon raid,
One that tells me I’m not strong enough as a trainer
And I wonder how many other areas of my life this bleeds into.

Pokémon are immortal,
They fight until fainting.
I fight until I’m black out drunk,
Wake up in a parking lot,
And go home.

It’s been two days and I am still shaking.

They ask if I need help,
And I do.
And I did.

They ask my name,
And I tell them.
But I’m careful not to say anything other than the fact, this is my favorite Pokémon.

Some look away from the purple flowered bruise on my arm,
But Justin asks what happens,
And I tell him,
That I can’t remember.

Lynne Schmidt, MSW, is an award winning poet and memoir author. She is the author of the chapbooks, Gravity (Nightingale and Sparrow Press), and On Becoming a Role Model (Thirty West). In 2012 she started the project, AbortionChat, which aims to lessen the stigma around abortion. When given the choice, Lynne prefers the company of her three dogs and one cat to humans.