I’m a professor of European literature. Students praise my accent, instead of my teaching style. Who doesn’t like Anna Karenina dissected in rap form?
I’ve fielded questions for fifteen years and affect different accents. Some days, I’m from Liverpool. Some praise my coarse Scouse accent; half don’t know Liverpool from Deadpool.
Other days, I hail from Berlin or Dublin. They recognize Irish. Lucky Charms jokes ensue.
Can’t they tell me why Anna Karenina had to kill herself? Who cares how I pronounce dynasty? Thinking of them discarding ideas makes me want a drink. A couple White Russians in particular.
Next accent to master:
Generic American. Very generic.

Yash Seyedbagheri is a graduate of Colorado State University’s MFA program in fiction. A native of Idaho, Yash’s work is forthcoming or has been published in WestWard Quarterly, Café Lit, and Ariel Chart, among others.