If only rummaging through the fridge pushing away all the White Claw R packed in front of my Founder’s Porter was considered exercise, I would be ready for the Boston Marathon.
“I mean, look at all these cans. How many flavors can water have?”
“It’s Hard Seltzer.”
“Please, if you want hard, pop a few rocks into a glass and add two fingers of Yamazaki 12.”
“Ok. well, you win, but sometimes on these hot summer days you just need a sweet, cool, sunset drink.”
If asked, that’s what made me say, Goodbye.

David Calogero Centorbi is a writer living in Detroit, MI. Published work in The Daily Drunk, Dreams Walking, Versification, Brown Bag Online, and Crepe & Pen. He can be found here on Twitter: @DavidCaCentorbi.