I was watching Shark Week on Discovery and laughing every time a great white exploded out of the water and chomped a seal. My girlfriend called me insensitive and stormed out, but she didn’t have her ass bitten by a sea dog when she was five. She was insensitive.
My roommate came home with tabs of acid. Two hours later, a great white jumped out of the television and swallowed him.
“That’s what you get,” I said, laughing at his disappearing legs. “I told you not to eat my food.”
Then I swam to the corner store for Blueberry Pop-Tarts.

Lisa Lerma Weber likes a good beer buzz. Her words and photography have appeared online and in print. She is a poetry contributor for Versification. Follow her on Twitter @LisaLermaWeber

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