after A. Mikhailov

If you remember center-of-the-controller joysticks
If you remember a time between joysticks
If you spent an entire week of recess
deducing “Who Shot Mr. Burns?”
and then talked on the phone until 1am debating
who should have shot him
And if you recall the discrete tang
of McDonald’s orange drink and the greasy
abundance of Pizza Hut’s all-you-can-eat buffet
If you drank Orbitz to quench your thirst
If Snapple and SoBe were equally refreshing
If you never learned to bake a pie in home economics
and they neglected to teach you how
to patch-up worn out denim
If you never really gave up on plaid
If your arches fall parallel to the soles of you Chuck Taylor’s
If your first taste of the Internet
involved MSN Chat Rooms, Yahoo! Games Reversi
and you know what a/s/l means
If you recall more about the world from Pop-Up Video
than from History class
If you know that THIS is how
we do it
What is love
and you saw the sign
If you have a mistrust for white vans
If you ever owned a Blockbuster card
and purple and teal hit a particular nostalgic nerve
then no one can rightfully call you a Millennial!

df parizeau is a scottish/french-canadian writer/editor who still ties their shoes “bunny-ears” style. Their work has been featured online and in print by publications in Canada, the US, and Finland. A bookseller by day, df is also a Communications Assistant with a Vancouver-based marketing firm on the side. They are also the current Prose Editor for perhappened mag. They have a firm belief in the 3-0 curveball and that cherry is the best pie.