I’m scik to daeth of poeple telilng me how to lvie, how to act, waht to say and thnik and feel. I’m tierd of poilitcal corerctenss and wakling on eggshlels aruond oethrs so as not to offned. I’m scik of pepole telilng me taht I look like my fahter and of poeple who inretrupt by saying they don’t mean to interpurt. I hate coktcail parteis, buinsess luchnes, and other forms of plyaing nice-ncie. I hate policitians, telemrkaeters, and anoyne who asks for mnoey. I relaly truly hate leaf blwoers. And somewehre near the top of the lsit, I hate splelchcek.

Jim Woessner’s writings have appeared in the Blue Collar Review, The Daily Drunk, Close to the Bone, and elsewhere. He has an MFA in Creative Writing (whoopty doo) from Bennington College, and he works as a visual artist and writer living on the water in Sausalito, California.