1. Winged Eyeliner: Even if you can’t fly to any place exotic why not add wings to your eyes in the hope that something will get a small holiday? Add that little touch to the end of your eyes and hope no one thinks it’s your mind that’s taken flight!
2. Statement Red Lips: Nothing says bat-shit crazy like a swipe of red across your lips. Everyone loves a clown, right? Or the Joker? It’s almost Halloween; Be bold! Color outside the lines!
3. Natural Brows: Since salons have been closed, natural brows are making a comeback– as are natural legs, natural chin hairs and natural ‘furry tacos.’ Tell your partner that these two forehead caterpillars are part of an infestation that won’t be eradicated until lockdown is over.
4. Golden Eyes: This eye-lid homage to Tiger King is just what we needed! The eyes of a tiger…crocodile, owl, alligator, snake, wolf, panther or jaundiced liver. Check with your doctor to make sure your ‘golden eyes’ are the nihilistic dystopian feelings of a pandemic and not cirrhosis from all the wine you’ve been drinking.
5. Vampy Beauty: When was the last time you saw the sun? If you’re seven months into lockdown like most of the nation, you probably already have that ashen-faced pastiness that only someone who lives in the dark, like a mushroom, has. Accentuate the pall-ative with the statement red lip trend, above, for a look that is as seasonal as a blood-thirsty vampire.
6. Smokey Eyes: Trending now on the West Coast where the party is always LIT! This trend is smokin’ hot and is sure to be blowing into your state soon!
7. Unexpected Color: So simple even a 3-year old can apply it. In fact, your 3-year old did apply it! Now promise to wear this new make-up trend to the grocery store.
8. Adornments: We’re pretty sure someone discovered this by accident during a craft session with their at-home preschoolers. How else to explain crystals, glitter and brightly colored tin foil that have adhered to your face and eyelids? Old buttons, Fruit Loops, cotton balls, marshmallows, even paper clips can be glued on with anything from honey to eyelash glue. Let your imagination run amok, like your kids!
9. Smudge Liner: Apply winged eye-liner (see above) then sob uncontrollably, while wiping away tears and smearing eyeliner, for a look that says ‘I surrender!’
Nancy Franklin has been published in The Daily Drunk, Points in Case and the Los Angeles Times. She enjoys cold beer and flaming shots of tequila, even when writing. Follow her on Twitter, @mirthquakes_.