2 Poems By Cassie Birk

Rewatching Inuyasha Instead of Finding Job Fulfillment
I thought being an assistant
Would be like Jaken in Inuyasha

Instead I am Kagome
The main but not titular character

Dragged out of my life
On whims to better the company

Doing less flashy stuff
That’s somehow still saving the world

But no one in the Fuedal Era knows me
And I can’t smash bitches with a giant sword

A sword Inuyasha mostly
Doesn’t know how to use

Either way that’s rude
I always wanted to be Sango

She wore pink eyeliner
And was basically a ninja


Catching up on The Bachelorette in Five Acts
I. Roses
The ritualistic first impression rose
Reminding men they too are perceived
And can assert dominance
By eating the petals and burning the stem

II. Social Experiment
What do you call a clique of men?
A collection of betta fish bullies?
Gang is too harsh, squad too progressive
I need to reread Lord of the Flies

III. Commercial Break
Attention: If you or a loved one
has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma
you may to be entitled
to financial compensation

IV. The Interview
Look and see- the interloper eloper
Explaining to puritan America her audacity
to only date ONE man
Who sees her as primary objective

V. Elimination
A procession of men in suits
Lined up on a middle school choir riser
With unspared trips from the florists
Is quite the elaborate swipe left

Cassie Birk is a (semi) recent graduate of the University of Iowa. Her poetry has been featured in Funny Looking Dog Quarterly, GLITCHWORDS, the Fearsome Critters’ “Quarenzine”, and more. She enjoys drinking craft sours like a pretentious asshole. Follow her on Twitter @BirkCassie.

Categories: Poetry

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Shawn Berman runs The Daily Drunk. You can follow him on Twitter @Sbb_writer.

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